Robin Williams never had to deal with this shit.

When I was little my favourite book/movie/general story was Peter Pan. As such, I like to attribute much of my immaturity to this fact. If that man-child never has to grow up then neither do I. Unfortunately, reality, that old kill joy, has other plans and likes to remind me that social expectations don't share my views. I have to take responsibility, pay my way and, most infuriatingly, deal with bureaucracy. I have to deal with bureaucracy all the fucking time. Up until about 17 seconds ago I couldn't even spell bureaucracy. So many conflicting vowels.

I recently had my car NCT'd, it failed for some tire technicality. It is bewildering to me that the NCT as a system exists. Obviously its a fabulously necessary concept, to keep us alive and that. But their methods are just bizarre. They take a look at your car, suggesting they have a lot of know how about the ins-and-outs of how exactly cars work. They make a list of what is wrong with your car. They return your car to you, along with said list, with all the problems they've named still actively in play. You've told me exactly how and why my car is not fit to be on the road, and now you want me to drive away in it to get it fixed somewhere else, instead of fixing it then and there, solving the problem once and for all. Where is the logic in this? Please explain to me how such a charade has been branded with "National"? Ireland please get your stamp of approval off this!

Fuck you bureaucracy. 

I, along with nearly everyone else, often find myself in financial dire straits. One evening I was at home, in a pressing need to know how much money was in my account, but without the means to get to an ATM to check. Bank of Ireland, being the savvy, with-the-times institution they are, had been flogging their new online banking service all over town. When I logged on, hoping to get the information I needed immediately, my own personal information about me and my possessions, I was met by several insurmountable barriers. Apparently I needed to earn this information by completing set tasks. Assuming that I would still be able to check my bank balance once I had filled out all the necessary forms, I proceeded with this task. Several hours later, BOI thanks me for my cooperation and informed me they would send me out the necessary pin in 3-4 days. *RageFace*. Two weeks later the pin arrives. But I cannot use it. First I must ring BOI, give them the pin (the one they have generated and sent to me) then answer questions to verify my identity. Listen, Bank of Ireland, you are starting to ask a lot so I can have instant access to what can only amount to about sixteen euro. But I comply, I have an assignment to do, and I can justify this as a grown-up activity, worthy of procrastinating for. I ring BOI, my name is not good enough, they need my account number. I do not know my account number. I hang up. I find my account number. I ring back. I type in my account number. Due to a technical difficulty they cannot connect me to a server. They terminate the call. 

Fuck. You. Bureaucracy. 

Niamh