Caution: The Fun May Begin Here

First welcome to "What I Can't Even" and congratulations on choosing a blog with such low potential. I'm Dave and have the ambiguous privilege of presenting you our first ever blog! This is just a quick round up of the Five Most Important Things To Know About Me!

1) I am male: Despite many a taunt from my schoolyard days I am in fact a boy. Every now again I do man thing, play sports, barbeque meat products or  partly assemble furniture only to declare there has to be pieces missing and abandon the project entirely. However, I have been known to balance such stereotypical male features with a love of gossip and Downton Abbey.

2) Science!!: I am a massive nerd. And not a nerd as in "OMG I totally love the Big Bang Theory!" nerd, a real nerd. A nerd who takes pride the fact that I have a favourite element (Bismuth!), I have a cat called Darwin and my favourite gene is Sonic Hedgehog.....

3). Laziness: I actually envied that guy in Seven who got to be sloth. Stay in bed for a year?? Don't even move to (ahem) relieve yourself?? Yea, that guy had it made. Except for the dying part, obvi.......

4) Her?: Television is a huge part of my life. I consider Tim Riggins a close personal friend and have emailed the Bluth Company my CV. Last summer I visited 30 Rock and was genuinely upset Kenneth didn't give me a tour. Also I realise none of these people are real but if we all just believe....

5) I wasn't even looking for droids!: Despite being an empassioned science geek and math enthusiast, I have never seen Star Wars. This often provokes the reaction of "How have you never seen Star Wars?!?". The obvious answer of "I never sat down in front of a television and cast my gaze thusly" apparently doesn't suffice. I have also never seen Lord of the Rings. Deal with it planet Earth!

Now The Five Most Important Things To Know about Niamh!

1) She does not eat: Never have I frequented the King household to find anything other than waffles and Rich Tea biscuits.

2) Secret Hipster: Niamh longs to wear thick rimmed glasses and a hat that makes her look aloof and creative. However, she resists these urges and instead listens to the music, reads the books and studies arts while wearing comfortable jeans and a Jansport bag.

3) Inferiority Complex: Niamh overtime has developed a well deserved inferiority complex. With her sisters continued success as wife, nurse and all round great person, Niamh struggles with her self esteem and often relies on her sardonic wit to mask her pain.

4) Tina Fey: Niamh is obsessed with Tina Fey. She once followed a look-a-like to their car and stole a lock of hair.

5) Book Enthusiast: Niamh takes great pride in her substantial book collection and often uses it to belittle my poorly read self. With novels by Dickens, Kerouac, Steinbeck and emmmm Meyers, Niamh is bonafide book worm!

Dave
Former Extra On Echo Island