First of all; YAY AMERICA! You guys just keep knockin' em out of the park!
Now, lets talk about the song! Oh my God, I'm so excited!
The first 18 seconds appear to be a shot of a statue of Athena, the goddess of wisdom, writer of the song, if I'm not mistaken. It sets us up nicely for the rest of the video, which is frankly out of this world.
"Look at me and tell me the truth
What do you do
When people don't know
What we go through?"
I think she wants the entire world to rise up-in-arms in abject horror whenever she's slightly mistreated or poorly judged because of her mind-blowing appearance. The opening of the song is a direct accusation against humanity, like Bono and Geldoff done did at Live8. We, as a people, are not doing enough about this pressing issue, and something must be done.
"They see my blond hair,
Blue eyes and class,
But they don't know,
I have a really big heart."
Oh.... They said heart... I thought they were gonna say something else.
"Don't get me wrong,
I know that I'm hot,
But textbook perfection really takes a lot."
One of the real tear-jerking lines of the song. The thing about being wildly attractive is the real lack of appreciation for all the hard work it takes. I mean, they're doing us a favour, and what do we do? Throw is back in their exfoliated, moisturised faces! They could be putting that time and effort into charity work or getting a good education and they're not. Now WHERE IS THE THANKS, HUH?? You people disgust me.
"We're not perfect and sometimes we lie."
That right there is character depth. Wes Anderson couldn't write personalities that multi-sided and endearing.
"I got the look,
I got the butt,
But those things don't make me a ____"
Don't make you a what DONT MAKE YOU A WHAT!?!?!
"Just cos I'm pretty,
Don't mean I'm dumb
I don't care about wits
I just wanna have fun."
Uuuhhh. This is a little harder to decipher. At first glance it's hard to distinguish what exactly she's trying to say. I know it looks like she's a complete fucking idiot, who is totally contradicting herself and offending attractive women everywhere by standing for them in this complete and utter massacre she calls a pop song, with her complete disregard and misunderstanding of the English language.. But I probably only think that because I am a raging feminist lesbian.
"People start rumours
And say things about me
Funny thing is,
I didn't go to that party."
This requires a little context; unfortunately we don't have that.
OK now they break down into a little rap bridge thing. Lets do this!
"Why oh why
Can't you see
You are all
Just like me,
We make mistakes and get in trouble
Now you see our hot girl struggle."
I mean, its a revelation. Take away the beat and this could be a work of poetry, as like all good poetry it allows us a glimpse into the world and uphill battles of others. Its the dilemma of our time, unknown to most and the duty of the truly great (hot) among us to bring it to the attention of the world. These girls are our Ginsberg, God damn it!
"Hot girls we have problems too,
We're just like you,
Except we're hot."
Wait.... I'm not hot?
WHY ARE THEY IN A FUCKING LIMO?!
Niamh (Rose of Tralee; 1987)
PS. When Dave found out this video was real his response was:
"I despair for humanity.
Although I do feel for the hot girls."
The universal reaction.
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